To be completely honest. I had heard about Step into Life, I knew people who trained, I even saw people training, but had never actually thought I could be one of them. 36 years old, mother of 3, wife of 1, previous history of being grossly overweight (some like to call it morbidly obese), part-time worker, sometimes weight trainer, sometimes run / walker, on a weight-loss journey. One thing I have not done on my journey to health is rushed. Its been very slow, even to the stage of halted. So when the opportunity came to "Step it UP" it was exactly the fast forward button I needed!
When I first started I was always worried about running last, or falling behind, but that was far from the truth. This reflection actually began in a session Monday 27 August. I am a big fan of The Biggest Loser, having watched it for years, watching their moments when a training session who crack away their barriers. I wrote about my first TBL moment in that nightly blog, I cried as I ran up the nemesis Imperial Parade. Crying because I was last, because I was not at the level of the others, because I allowed old thoughts had invaded my mind. The one thing I wasn't. was alone. Ian was right there, and so were the awesome fellow Step into Lifers. I got through it, and lifted through the session & made it my best. Then this Monday night just gone I had another "moment" which you may have also already read about. I had a open chat with Ian about my nutrition, this lead to him highlighting a few things which may have been in my way, so I refocused the nutrition & recommitted to my goals.....and then it got me to thinking about overall effort and commitment.
Am I as committed as I should be? Am I giving 110% every time? In reflection, the answer was quickly no. If I was 110% committed I would have been a lot further along in the weightloss and fitness then I am. But before I start cursing every wrong move over the past year, its not about that. Its not about the past, its about making the present the best it can be, to be prepared for whatever the future throws at me. So during the Thursday sessions: I decided its time to throw caution at the wind, to beat the mind who tells me to stop. Simple baby steps, when they ran I ran, when they jumped I jumped, when they kicked I kicked. Its 1 hour out of 24 hours. Its truly not asking that much.
Finally it come down to What do I want? I want the dress, I want the shoes, I want the hair, I want the ability to confidently swim in a pool or be at a beach, I want to ride a roller coaster with my son. Ultimately I want to help people, achieve their dreams and goals. I can't do that yet. I am still currently "under construction". With baby steps I have healed many of the old records of my life, which allow me to deal with the present much better. There are still moments that hit me, but I am stronger which allows me to fight harder. Special shout outs to everyone who reads my blog. Thanks to those who have come up and spoken to me this week about their journey. The amazing women who have also now begun to blog their journey through pages. Its a brave thing for some of us just to step on the scales, its even braver to write about it for the world to read. xx
If your wondering how to start, everything begins with just one step x
Bring on morning training!!
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