Time for a Break....

When I set out to write the blog, I aimed for daily, and then daily became every few days, and now every few days has become weekly.  Why?

Something has changed. I have changed. Something happened to me last weekend when I was away for the 4 days.

I still want to inspire others more then ever by sharing my journey, however I have decided to take a little break.  I need to retreat and find myself & my focus again.  I will still be training at Step into Life Labrador and aim to complete at least 2 sessions a week minimum.  I also have a weight training regime to return to as well.

My Retreat Goals

• Regain Focus
• Nutrition
• Training
• Family
• Me

It is only when I take the time to strengthen myself, that I will truly be able to help others.

I hope you all understand I did this in January this year & it worked, its the step I need to take again.

I look forward to sharing with you again someday soon. JAC

Dream - Balance - Happiness

As I walked onto the plane, the anticipation began.  Gosh will I lose my breathe as I climb the stairs carrying my luggage? Will I fit in the seat? will the seat belt fit?  will my knees be locked into the seat in front? 

As I walked up the stairs, I reached the top and thought.... ok I am still alive. As I entered the plane, and proceeded down to our seats, I was surprised I could walk in a straight line without having to be  slightly sideways so as not to hit the sits as I walked down.  As I moved into my seat it was with much excitement as I easily slipped my bag under the seat, and put my seatbelt on with belt to spare!!! (You might be thinking yeh whatever... but I used to need an extender belt, and was that sardined in I had to squash my excess hip under the arm rest)  I was so excited as I was able to reach down and get my handbag out from under the seat without after to lean all over the other passengers.

Another milestone achieved....flying like a person who can fit in a plane!! WOOHOO!

Another cool thing was having that very special one on one time with my main man Al.  I was so lucky the day I married him, Mr uncomplicated.  He works hard, loves his family, and unlike me at times can make any situation hilarious.  People love him, because he doesn't conform to social trends, he is Al & thats what we love about him.


My next challenge would be checking in to the hotel.  Top floor of the Whitsunday Terraces. 6 sets of 8 stairs up to our unit.  SO worth it as the view was breathtaking! Even better to go down to the mainstreet we had 2 choices, a steep 70 degree hill, or 14 flights of stairs.  I kept thinking to myself, thank goodness I was an active person, as I would have definitely not enjoyed the climbing and hills if I was still smoking, and overweight.

Over the last 2 years I have been pretty much been a no fun Mary.  I have never really been a big drinker, but I have always gone to bed early when others are usually partying.  I would always only have one drink max, as I have to drive or look after the kids, go to work, or was pregnant, or had to drive. Always something.  Then the ephiphany came.

Friday afternoon, with Als encouragement I forced myself to go down to the pool, and I almost went for a swim till 16 straping footy boys walked in.  Shorts back on I chilled on the pool lounge instead, and then decided to live it up & have a drink.  Well from then on my relaxation arrived. It was time for Danielle & Jay to be married. I was very nervous about being the photographer at the wedding, but it all went smoothly. The wedding was so intimate and loving, the children were beautiful, and the moments were many.  Guests were blown away by a fireworks display. Here is one pic from the occasion.

So usually back home, I would pack up stumps, head on home to an early bed.  I have always been nervous about going out on the town.  I have never really felt like a trendy chick.  Then I went out in Airlie Beach.  There is no dress code in Airlie, everyone is out in whatever, and partying and having a great time.  Had an absolute ball. I went from the one who stands with the bags, to dancing the night away, with a few drinks, and a lot of laughs. I finally allowed myself to be happy!  We were in a big group, including the bride and groom & it was just the best.  So good that we even went out again Saturday night with some great new friends we met.

So over the weekend I found the person inside who can let her hair down, relax, and enjoy it.  I let myself enjoy every moment, and didn't feel bad or guilty for doing so.  Our beautiful hosts Jay & Danielle gave us a weekend we will never forget. We just loved every minute of it!  I had some lovely talks with my 2 favourite Auntie's, it was the talk we needed to have 10 years ago.  Its amazing how family just know you. They knew me when I was a bubba, and they still know me now.... not matter how long it has been. We are a very private family, so the advice and love I received from those ladies has given me some answers.  As for Danielle, words will never describe the bond her and I share. Its a lifelong bond.

After 4 days in the tropics I say Bring on Summer. Bring on beach weather, swimming and fun with the kids.  I weighed myself on return, and my weight was exactly the same. Its a constant lesson about BALANCE.

New goals:  To get out there and live. To allow myself to relax and enjoy life, as well as work hard towards weight-loss goals.

Back to training last night.  Great session to return to.  Busted my butt.....had a ball. Wouldnt have it any other way.


JACS

Its all happening!

OK OK OK your wondering ..... hmmmmm she is blogging less, and we haven't heard from her in nearly a week... surely she is lying on a track somewhere, after falling off the wagon.  Nah its Week 11 of the school term, its all happening.

No I haven't fallen off the wagon, as I am not really on a wagon. This isn't a fad, or a stage, this is my life.  I eat well, train well, and also live well. We have had lots on, as we are planning a little second honeymoon at the end of this week, our first break ever where we are further then an hour from the kids. I am so excited, as I am love taking photo's, and I get to take photos of a very special couples day.  SO its all very exciting.

What I wanted to talk to you about tonight is taking that first step.  When I was 141kg, I was introduced to a Personal training studio, and my words to the trainer was "I don't think I could even walk through the doors?", as I had seen their clients. They were triathletes, and runners, if I went there everyone would look at me, and I could never compare myself to them.  Well a week later, I walked through the doors.  The next step was an outdoor group training session......scarey MARY!  Thrust into the daylight, in a public park, beginning to run, or walk while others ran...an essential part of the journey I enjoyed training there for a few months.

Anything new is scarey.  That first step can be petrifying.  I wanted to share my thoughts pre-first session with Ian. I hadn't heard much of what a SIL training session would be like.  11 months after my first ever cross training when I was 141kg, joining SIL a few weeks ago I was 119kg.  AS time ticked through the day I knew the hours were getting closer to that first session. My thoughts were I wonder what the other clients at the group training would be like? Would they be superfit, would I be last, would they talk to me. Then it continued I wonder what the session will be like, can I keep up, will there be alternatives.  The list goes on. I am an expert at second guessing myself and fishing for an excuse.

Do I still get the feeling of anticipation nearly 4 weeks in? YES, but the difference is now I embrace it.  Its like adrenalin.  Its like POTLUCK... bit of Forrest Gump - Like a box of chocolates you never know what your up for.  This unknown pushes me to work harder.  Its no longer about comparing myself to others, its pushing myself to keep up & improve.  Every opportunity that presents itself is an opportunity to learn more about myself, my body, and my abilities.  If I didn't take the first step, I would never have the opportunity to learn what I am really capable of.

I say it constantly...... Do NOT compare yourself to others.  There is no place for that in group classes, eating plans, facebook, on the street, at work, at play.... anywhere!!! Comparing leads to toxic thoughts, which lead to negativity..... truly this can then snowball to a whole lot of crap thinking.  Crap thoughts, lead to crap habits, which lead to crap eating, which lead to crap results.  This doesn't happen as often to me as it used to...... but it has!

How do I overcome it...... I beat that thought in my head, by stepping out, lifting, and making it happen.  I believe in myself, and my achievements.  You can achieve whatever you want, if you put your mind to it, and remain focused!

A little bit of consistency ... goes a long way.

Tonight I stepped up to a midweek Cardio Max class this evening. An enduro class, which has been my usual Sunday class. So it was a good opportunity to lift. I must admit though I was a little hesitant about going, and was even still hesitant when we set out on our run, but seriously once I was on the road, I knew it was on.

One of the awesome things I noticed was the instant change in temperature as we went from the hills of Labrador down to the beauty of the Broadwater.  Looking south towards the lights of surfers, with my trainer beside me, I was always like the way he loves running down by the Broadwater.  No matter day or night, he acknowledges how beautiful & lucky we are.

The first half of my run, I used my usual cues.  Pole to pole, tree to tree, seat to seat......but it was the turn around home that I began to ease into rhythm.Taking on board words from my RP (running partner) Christine & Shelley.... just get over that beginning and try not to stop. So I did, and I can proudly say I pretty much jogged the whole way back to the school, except for some power walking up the hill.

Sooo invigorating I got back to the school with the 3 other members and Ian, and felt alive! I was amazed as the sweat just began dripping off me. 

Sooo Happy with my efforts.  Dare I say it.... I am beginning to love running.  Tonight was very much about celebrating breathing. Being completely relaxed, in control of my breath, made me understand why people get out and run marathons...... All I want now is more more more.

Don't forget I have been given an amazing opportunity by Ian, this is  my chance to really lift, push myself to new limits, and have some fun.  Too often I over think it, add unnecessary pressure to myself. Tonight I ran, not to burn calories, not to impress anyone, I ran because I could! That beats it all.

And then it all just stopped.......

When I began to write this blog, I said that it would be about honesty, about me and my journey.

I began writing this blog tonight asking the question WHY? Why haven't I lost weight yet.  People are so lovely, but the truth of the whole thing is I haven't lost any weight since July. It has fluctuated 1 or 2 kg up or down.  But truly no real difference.  The same thing happened at 145kg, 140kg, 130kg. and this time its decided to happen at 119kg.

The differences are: at all the previous weights before 119kg I was a smoker. Many people never knew. IT wasn't something I flaunted, infact some people will go WOW I never knew.  Then as if I had never smoked, one night I just gave them up.  It was something I had dreamed of for years.  It was due to my change in training, my want for better health, the hypocritic habit it had become. I had been having acupuncture & it might have helped to. So I have been smoke free since June 1 2012.

Of course since then my training has improved, I was pretty much bronchitis free, and my bank account has looked a little better, but my weightloss has stopped. It fluctuates as often as the Australian dollar. How do I know this because its my morning ritual.  Wake up to the alarm, head to the bathroom, stand on the scales, jump in the shower.  Sometimes its good, sometimes its bad, most of the time its pretty much the same.

Weighing yourself daily is like a cardinal sin in the weight loss world, so why do I continue to put myself through this daily ritual. It keeps me tracked, however at the moment I am perfectly tracked from 7am to 4pm. Come 4pm anything could happen. My saving grace is my training sessions.  That is probably why I have maintained my weight.  The training is balancing the food intake out. But what I really need to do is focus on tipping that balance beam.....to get back to basics.

So once again, tomorrow I will plan again, pack my lunch again, and continue on the  metabolic jumpstart program.  It is time that I just knuckle down again. No more excuses. When I am angry and grumpy, like I was earlier this afternoon, its that I am grumpy with myself.  The biggest thing I must not do is STOP.  Just keep moooving.........

You can Count on Me

This weekend I got to celebrate my great friends 40th birthday.  She has motivated me in my journey, by herself marking the occasion by reclaiming her life, with sheer determination, dedication and hardwork she has reduced her weight by a lot, and gained amazing self confidence. Love ya to pieces Mrs! Here is a pic of us a few months ago at our first ever fun run.

Tonight's Cardiomax was another great session conquering my royal nemisis Imperial Parade. Up and Down, walking & jogging.  Another killer, but we were all beating everyone on the coach so soldier on I did.

Today's prayer at work was about embracing diversity. I am a strong believer that this also relates to our various training groups. We are a very diverse bunch of people, not 100% sure on occupations, but we are all from different backgrounds, and for the training we are a team. Supporting each other no matter what.  Its that high 5, the smile, the you can do it, just that team spirit.

Tonight I had the pleasure of meeting an inspiration girl, who took her first steps, had as they were she stepped and stepped. I was so proud of her efforts.

I am that jet lagged from training I am falling asleep typing my blog, so tonight I am going to leave you with this animation, which pretty much sums up today & tonight. This is dedicated to all those who Count on me, as much as I count on you x

Night guys x

Oh What a Week!

All I can say is What a week, What a week... I have been a Step into Life member now since first session 16th August.  That was my first "Boxkick" session.  Since then I have learnt more about myself, and my ability then I thought possible. In the time since joining I have completed 9 sessions, burnt 4334 kCal, have strengthened my body, and can already feel the difference in my Cardiovascular fitness.

To be completely honest. I had heard about Step into Life, I knew people who trained, I even saw people training, but had never actually thought I could be one of them.  36 years old, mother of 3, wife of 1, previous history of being grossly overweight (some like to call it morbidly obese), part-time worker, sometimes weight trainer, sometimes run / walker, on a weight-loss journey.  One thing I have not done on my journey to health is rushed. Its been very slow, even to the stage of halted.  So when the opportunity came to "Step it UP" it was exactly the fast forward button I needed!

When I first started I was always worried about running last, or falling behind, but that was far from the truth. This reflection actually began in a session Monday 27 August. I am a big fan of The Biggest Loser, having watched it for years, watching their moments when a training session who crack away their barriers.  I wrote about my first TBL moment in that nightly blog, I cried as I ran up the nemesis Imperial Parade.  Crying because I was last, because I was not at the level of the others, because I allowed old thoughts had invaded my mind.  The one thing I wasn't. was alone. Ian was right there, and so were the awesome fellow Step into Lifers. I got through it, and lifted through the session & made it my best.  Then this Monday night just gone I had another "moment" which you may have also already read about.  I had a open chat with Ian about my nutrition, this lead to him highlighting a few things which may have been in my way,  so I refocused the nutrition & recommitted to my goals.....and then it got me to thinking about overall effort and commitment.

Am I as committed as I should be? Am I giving 110% every time?  In reflection, the answer was quickly no.  If I was 110% committed I would have been a lot further along in the weightloss and fitness then I am. But before I start cursing every wrong move over the past year, its not about that.  Its not about the past, its about making the present the best it can be, to be prepared for whatever the future throws at me. So during the Thursday sessions: I decided its time to throw caution at the wind, to beat the mind who tells me to stop. Simple baby steps, when they ran I ran, when they jumped I jumped, when they kicked I kicked.  Its 1 hour out of 24 hours.  Its truly not asking that much.

Finally it come down to What do I want? I want the dress, I want the shoes, I want the hair, I want the ability to confidently swim in a pool or be at a beach, I want to ride a roller coaster with my son.  Ultimately I want to help people, achieve their dreams and goals.  I can't do that yet.  I am still currently "under construction".  With baby steps I have healed many of the old records of my life, which allow me to deal with the present much better.  There are still moments that hit me, but I am stronger which allows me to fight harder. 

Special shout outs to everyone who reads my blog. Thanks to those who have come up and spoken to me this week about their journey.  The amazing women who have also now begun to blog their journey through pages. Its a brave thing for some of us just to step on the scales, its even braver to write about it for the world to read. xx
If your wondering how to start, everything begins with just one step x

Bring on morning training!!

Join us on facebook: Jacs Next Step

I've got one word to say to you, CONTROL!

Evening folks. Fresh from the Chicks at the Flicks premiere of Kath and Kimderella. Had a good laugh in parts, but most of all enjoyed some time out with a good friend x  Now in true Kath Day-Knight style I've got one word to say to you all "Control".

Control means a lot of different things to me.  Being in Control and Feeling in Control, are such important aspects.  One of the key to my weightloss success this year has been returning to work.  Returning to work has allowed me to control my eating. I ensure I pack my meal and snacks, and water.  Working within a school environment my biggest temptation is the home baking at tuck shop, or the odd baked gift or chocolate. Which is a far cry from the fridge n pantry, from my work from home/stay at home mum days.  So at work my eating is controlled.  From the minute I get into the car, its like a flood of old habits. The car can take me anywhere, a drive thru, a sushi train, or even the good old excuse of I'll call in and get the kids some maccas...... oh and just some mcbites for me & a diet coke.  Some diet programs talk about Junk Thinking, and that is my constant controller.  Reining in my cravings, and urges.  Its not a case of not allowed, or can't have, they are dangerous statements.  The minute you say YOU can't have it... you'll want it even more! So I chose to look at it like a savings account.  I have a food budget of calories/macronutrients to spend every day, how I choose to spend that budget is up to me. 

Feeling in control, is the feeling I get when I drive past a McDonalds, or walk through a shopping centre without succumbing to temptation.  Feeling in control is the feeling I get when I have dinner organised, lunches made, uniforms ready, appointments booked, banking done.... ahead of schedule.

At the end of the day, we are adults, we are in control of ourselves. No one can control us.  Some may try but it will be unsuccessful eventually. Ultimately, the cliche saying If its to be its UP to me....widely used in the world of self motivation and direct selling.

Tomorrow, is double up Thursday. Sparring in the morning then BoxKick in the evening.  Wednesday rest day is almost over.....

I battle on again tomorrow. Those little habits of day of will be confronting again. But I will stay strong, and win again tomorrow!

Monday Moments

So its been a crazy time here in what I can affectionately call 'Camp Drescher' over the weekend.  Camp Drescher weekend was the inaugural family get together, where all my husbands family came to visit, fish, eat, relax, play, and drink.  A fire just ain't a fire without the term "More Wood....."
So with 13 adults and estimated 16 teens, tweens, n toddlers..... it was hectic, but lots of fun.

Its been so long since I have blogged, a whole 4 days pretty much.  Saturday morning I did my first Saturday session, and proudly claimed to have sprung into spring!! Sunday was more of a relaxed workout. I did forgo the usual CardioMax Enduro session, and headed to my favourite place Main Beach. I find Sun, Surf, and Sand energising. Its a great lift, and always a good time for a one on one conversation with my thoughts.

I found myself getting overwhelmed by calculations. Times, Maps, Pace, Heart Rate, running style, stopping, starting, what's hurting, what isn't hurting. The mind was on overload. So I stopped. As you can see by the pic. It was time to ground myself. I shared on the facebook page how I was feeling.  That was when I told myself, walk for the love of the day, for the ability to, for the reason that you can.  Just be free to do as you please. Because regardless of all those calculators, and time keepers..... the point is: YOUR DOING IT! Derrr! (Yes sometimes I need to slap myself around a little bit lol)

So tonight was Monday night Madness.... what I like about Monday night training is your never quite know what's in store.  Tonights was much fun. I burnt almost 430 Calories. I did leave it paused for 2 minutes of sprinting though.  A great fun session, once again pushing myself.

The moment of the night goes to the hurdle part of the circuit.  Due to my fitness level, I often ask or chose an alternative exercise. EG... When my team mate was doing burpies, I stuck to squats.  You would have also read previously about my inability to co-ordinate a skipping rope. So along comes some hurdles.... not Sally Pearson size... more like Sally Grade 4 size.

When my buddy was jumping over and over the hurdle, I was happily doing my alternative exercise, but then the moment came.  "Jacs have a go at jumping with 2 feet over the hurdle". Easier said then done, as I gathered the courage, with a few false starts, finally my 2 feet jumped over the hurdle.  I likened it to a scene in Ghost when Patrick Swayze has to use all his might to move that coke can. 

I did it!! WOOOHOOO! High 5's from the trainer, and a smile :) from me.  Then for the rotations to stop I had to jump it again.... and eventually when the stars aligned... I jumped again.  Another MONDAY MOMENT.  I always thought I was lucky and didn't bloat, and unlike all the people who go on Biggest Loser... I had never gotten that emotional over my weight or training.... until lately!  I am not immune.  I will make it!

Now we have celebrated the triumph lets reflect on the not to so beautiful stuff.  We have established I can run.. YES. Its also been established that I play well with others.. YES.  Most of the time I happily participate without complaint... YES.  Lets look at some ugly words...."its just 2", "its only 1", "but its o.k". That is my nutrition all in one.  Excuses after excuses.... covering up the truth.  I didn't have a successful week on Metabolic Jumpstart.  The only person to blame is me.  The only person who can lift and fix it is me. So I have to regain control of my eating.  No more Just ones.... or only two's.....No more EXCUSES.  Hence the attached pic.  No more B**sh** stories as to why I can't achieve it! If its not on the plan mate, then it doesn't make it to the plate!  Lets see how we go from there.  Talk soon! :)